Choice is key
We have our habitual behaviours. Such as pleasing, shutting down or walking away. We need to learn to make conscious decisions. To choose healthy behaviour. Because we do have a choice.
The key phrase
During sessions with my clients, I keep coming back to this one message: “Choice is key”.
Our usual ways
When we’ve been through some hard situations in life, be it in childhood or later in life, we tend to develop HABITS to cope with the ‘leftovers’. We end up in similar situations, we might subconsciously get TRIGGERED, and what do we do?
We automatically behave in our ‘USUAL WAY’. A way of dealing with uncomfortable or unpleasant situations. Usually that specific behaviour or habit has actually developed many years ago.
Examples of common habitual behaviour
It can be, for example:
- PLEASING> making others happy, to make sure there won’t be conflict and to strive for safety, etc.
- SHUTTING DOWN > staying silent, being unable to move, waiting for the storm to pass, etc.
- Trying to GET OUT of the situation > by walking away, staring at our phone, etc.
- EXPRESSING yourself a certain way > getting angry, accusing, raising your voice, or talking softly to try to calm the situation down.
- SELF SOOTHING > by getting food or a drink, ‘day dreaming’, etc.
We all have our ‘usual ways’.
Bringing awareness to our habits
When we bring awareness to what our usual ways are, and in which situations they show up, we CREATE SPACE. We can learn that there are other ways to deal with certain situations. And we HAVE OPTIONS.
Making a conscious choice about how we react, GIVES US POWER over our own lives.
So: CHOICE IS KEY!
Many of my clients are finding their choices, because I guide them towards more insight and wisdom into their (trauma) history and behavioural patterns. I must say this is wonderfully powerful work to do.
Thank you for letting me help you!
Are you possibly interested in looking at your behavioural paterns?
And maybe changing them?
I’d be happy to guide you along your path.